My Problematic Fave: A juicy question with many answers: Catherine Breillat. Dollarama. Nina Simone's version of "I Loves You, Porgy" (it's not on Simone, she saves it from Gershwin, it's just the one I love). I would say Woody Allen's Husbands and Wives or Deconstructing Harry, but I think it's okay to enjoy those (so bleak and revealing, they are basically a confession), it's more problematic that I love Manhattan.
First Movie I went on a Date for: Sweet Home Alabama, a double date with my neighbourhood friend and two guys from another school we met hanging out (as teens do) after school hours at the playground. He thought I was crying during an emotional scene where Reese Witherspoon visits a grave in her hometown (A grandparent? Childhood dog?), but I was a cynical 14-year-old, and not then or now a Rom Com girl, and was trying to muffle my laughter.
My Movie/TV Character Style Icon: Julia Stiles in Hamlet, Kiera Knightley in Love, Actually, Satine in Moulin Rouge, Maggie Cheung and Nathalie Richard in Irma Vep.
The First Sex Scene I Ever Saw: I can't remember for sure, but probably Titanic.
… and it made me feel: Confused: it gave me absolutely no information on what sex actually is, only that there were certain signals I would one day understand (like the men who laugh knowingly when they see the fogged up windows). Also afraid: it seemed sex would always leave some trace, and you could not hide it from anyone. Also romantic: sex was fun and actually fine, no one was hurt by it or punished for it (although it did happen right before they hit the iceberg, but this was not a coincidence that my young mind internalized.)
Best Needle Drop: Most of the songs in Rushmore (but maybe "Oo La La" by The Faces the most). I didn't even know what those songs were when I watched it at 15, but I knew that they were perfect.
I Wish this Fictional Meal Existed IRL: This meal does exist, but I have never seen the timpano from Big Night out in the wild, and although it seems like something that is better in theory than in execution, I'm not sure I'll feel fully satisfied if I never try one.
Untouchable Classic that I hate: How do I even pick! Citizen Kane does very little for me (except Welles, who I find quite hot), 2001: A Space Odyssey is glacial and so British (I do think the scene approaching the monolith on the moon is fab), Bresson leaves me dry (a symptom, perhaps, of him casting actors because they're hot), I find Parasite shallow, I only like the scenes in Stalker before and after they go to the Zone, and I can't get past Jeanne Dielman's melodramatic ending (which became an irritating staple of art house film).
Celebrity I had on my wall as a teen
Frank Black Francis and Karen O.
My film/TV OTP is: I can't think of a time when I felt the ending of a film or show should have been different, I like when characters come together, I like when they fall apart.
The Reality TV Show I Would Win: I think it's obvious that my true place is not as a competitor, but as a judge.
SWK: Though I was a bit older than 16 at the time, watching shows like My Super Sweet 16, Cribs, and Pimp My Ride scratched a certain itch in my developing brain, giving me access to a world I had no idea existed. Pretty sure my sixteenth birthday was at a Chuck E. Cheese with the standard balloons and ice cream cake, no big entrance number featuring celebrity rappers or a lavish theme. Though I may have convinced my mom to buy me a $45 USD top from Charlotte Russe, which went perfectly with my beloved beige capris!
BB: No car reveal on my sweet 16 birthday either. I honestly can’t remember what I did for my 16th birthday, which probably says it all. Funnily enough, it probably involved watching reality TV. My twin sister and I watched Big Brother every summer growing up, and it was always airing around our birthday. We also didn’t have MTV, so I was blissfully unaware of the teens out here getting Range Rovers. We were happy with our Dairy Queen cake!
SWK: Fortunately, there is no shortage of documentation when it comes to My Super Sweet 16, which ran on and off for over ten seasons. Rewatching the more infamous clips, I forget so many celebrity kids were on the show, from Timbaland's son to a young Teyana Taylor with her memorable Barbie doll in a box entrance. It also featured wealthy, rich normies flexing their parents' money, and how much they're willing to spend to make all their sixteen-year-old dreams come true. A perfect clash of spoiled rich kids, nightmare party planning, and aspirational wealth flexing.
BB: Watching clips of My Super Sweet 16 now, it seems to be giving early 2000s wealth porn — which is interesting, considering it was airing while the U.S. was entering the 2007–2008 financial crisis. It’s wild to think the economy was crumbling while these teens were crying over party décor. Similar to watching shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills now, it gives you access to a kind of wealth that most people will never know. It’s part of the appeal.
SWK: I will say the show also has one of the most uncannily perfect theme songs ever made, by none other than early aughts Hilary Duff. "Sweet Sixteen", with lyrics like: Today I'm gonna ride away / And feel the sun throughout my hair / Finally free to be who I wanna be / Who that is I don't really care / 'Cause I have got friends who love me / Blue skies are above me / My blonde hair is everywhere.
I truly can't think of a better way to sum up a certain kind of teenage experience.
BB: My blonde hair is everywhere… all over this Lexus my parents gave me. A lot of the drama in My Super Sweet 16 comes from the bratty tantrums of the birthday king or queen. People watched for the overspending moms, but also for the breakdowns they could shake their heads at. This paved the way for an entire genre of shows where teens needed reform, like Nanny 911 and Queen Bees, where spoiled teens battled through challenges designed to confront their selfish ways.
Fun fact: Queen Bees even featured a pre-Vanderpump Stassi Schroeder, before she was throwing tantrums at SUR (Sexy Unique Restaurant). See a video of her reacting to her own cringey behaviour here. This is something humans were never meant to experience!
SWK: Oh teen Stassi, before she knew what SUR stood for! It's interesting, these shows either portray teens as spoiled, entitled spawns of the devil or out-of-touch young people who need to be reformed. It sets up the perfect reality TV journey: from insane sweet 16 meltdown to bratty teen who needs to learn how to be less difficult and become a sweeter adult.
BB: Yes, the producers are thinking long term! Nanny 911 features even younger kids having exorcist-level-meltdowns, when a Mary Poppins look-alike steps in to save the day. These kids are in the pipeline to Queen Bees, but not if the nannies put in the work.
SWK: Definitely a parenting 101 show that plays on all the tropes of too many hormones and not enough boundaries. Nanny 911 feels similar to the TLC reality TV show formula, where you dramatize someone's messed-up situation and then come in and solve it for them by the end of the hour.
BB: I guess the difference is the families on My Super Sweet 16 have extreme wealth, and the families on Nanny 911 don’t have enough money to afford a nanny. Parents need to agree to be on the show in order to get help. But the consequence is their children are living on the internet for all of time at their very worst moments.
SWK: Then there are shows that revel in their subject's worst moments and use them to add drama or spice up a season. The one-season 2010 show Pretty Wild follows the Neier sisters as their middle sibling, Alexis, stands trial for her participation in the Bling Ring robberies, hence the "scandalous. infamous" tagline of the show. It leans into the stakes of one of the cast being on trial and makes it almost seem glamorous, like hot teen baddies doing bad shit that they likely won't go to jail or serve prolonged time for.
BB: Right, producers were clearly trying to capitalize on the bad behaviour of young early 2000s celebs. And if the teens from Pretty Wild aren’t reformed of their bratty ways, they just go on to star in Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, or eventually The Valley, continuing to act badly for the rest of reality TV eternity.
SWK: So different from the Teen Mom version of teen life, where you don't throw a lavish birthday party or rob other rich people, you get pregnant and have to figure out how to raise a child. The show has spawned so many spin-offs following teen moms trying to manage a messed-up healthcare system, problematic baby daddies, and their own parents' issues. The stakes are maybe the highest they could ever be, but the show is still made for us to consume and partake.
BB: If Hilary Duff taught us anything, it’s that being "finally free to be who I wanna be" often looks like screaming at your mom because your birthday cake is the wrong shade of pink. And reality TV will be there to capture it—because no matter how chaotic or cringey it gets, there will always be viewers ready to watch.
Top 4 Tantrums: Teens… and adults
1. Audrey’s Birthday Breakdown - My Super Sweet 16, Season 5
Audrey's breakdown in a diamond tiara about getting a Lexus from her mother the day before her quinceañera, which still went ahead as planned, featuring a performance by none other than Ryan Cabrera.
"Trust me when I say I cringe watching this back," Audrey wrote on TikTok in 2023 about her infamous meltdown. Same, girl, same.
2. Stassi’s Birthday Meltdown – Vanderpump Rules, Season 4
Stassi’s “Shut the fuck up, it’s my fucking birthday” meltdown comes to mind. It’s less of a meltdown and more of a mantra, honestly. It plays in a loop in my head every year when my birthday rolls around.
3. Vicky vs. The Family Van - The Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 2
Though technically an adult, one of the OG tantrums from the Housewives franchise deserves a highlight here. This early reality TV meltdown happens when a car service dares to send Vicky Gunvulson a family van to take her and her friends to the airport. This tantrum has basically funded its own merch line at this point, and paved the way for many, many future housewives' meltdowns.
4. Stephanie's Court - My Super Sweet 16, Season 4
A medieval court-themed party that costs $300,000, with a birthday girl who tells everyone she will kill them if they mess up her entrance, wearing a dress that gives Queen Elizabeth a run for her money? From one Stephanie to another, you doth be doing a tad too much!
SWK: Though I was a bit older than 16 at the time, watching shows like My Super Sweet 16, Cribs, and Pimp My Ride scratched a certain itch in my developing brain, giving me access to a world I had no idea existed. Pretty sure my sixteenth birthday was at a Chuck E. Cheese with the standard balloons and ice cream cake, no big entrance number featuring celebrity rappers or a lavish theme. Though I may have convinced my mom to buy me a $45 USD top from Charlotte Russe, which went perfectly with my beloved beige capris!
BB: No car reveal on my sweet 16 birthday either. I honestly can’t remember what I did for my 16th birthday, which probably says it all. Funnily enough, it probably involved watching reality TV. My twin sister and I watched Big Brother every summer growing up, and it was always airing around our birthday. We also didn’t have MTV, so I was blissfully unaware of the teens out here getting Range Rovers. We were happy with our Dairy Queen cake!
SWK: Fortunately, there is no shortage of documentation when it comes to My Super Sweet 16, which ran on and off for over ten seasons. Rewatching the more infamous clips, I forget so many celebrity kids were on the show, from Timbaland's son to a young Teyana Taylor with her memorable Barbie doll in a box entrance. It also featured wealthy, rich normies flexing their parents' money, and how much they're willing to spend to make all their sixteen-year-old dreams come true. A perfect clash of spoiled rich kids, nightmare party planning, and aspirational wealth flexing.
BB: Watching clips of My Super Sweet 16 now, it seems to be giving early 2000s wealth porn — which is interesting, considering it was airing while the U.S. was entering the 2007–2008 financial crisis. It’s wild to think the economy was crumbling while these teens were crying over party décor. Similar to watching shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills now, it gives you access to a kind of wealth that most people will never know. It’s part of the appeal.
SWK: I will say the show also has one of the most uncannily perfect theme songs ever made, by none other than early aughts Hilary Duff. "Sweet Sixteen", with lyrics like: Today I'm gonna ride away / And feel the sun throughout my hair / Finally free to be who I wanna be / Who that is I don't really care / 'Cause I have got friends who love me / Blue skies are above me / My blonde hair is everywhere.
I truly can't think of a better way to sum up a certain kind of teenage experience.
BB: My blonde hair is everywhere… all over this Lexus my parents gave me. A lot of the drama in My Super Sweet 16 comes from the bratty tantrums of the birthday king or queen. People watched for the overspending moms, but also for the breakdowns they could shake their heads at. This paved the way for an entire genre of shows where teens needed reform, like Nanny 911 and Queen Bees, where spoiled teens battled through challenges designed to confront their selfish ways.
Fun fact: Queen Bees even featured a pre-Vanderpump Stassi Schroeder, before she was throwing tantrums at SUR (Sexy Unique Restaurant). See a video of her reacting to her own cringey behaviour here. This is something humans were never meant to experience!
SWK: Oh teen Stassi, before she knew what SUR stood for! It's interesting, these shows either portray teens as spoiled, entitled spawns of the devil or out-of-touch young people who need to be reformed. It sets up the perfect reality TV journey: from insane sweet 16 meltdown to bratty teen who needs to learn how to be less difficult and become a sweeter adult.
BB: Yes, the producers are thinking long term! Nanny 911 features even younger kids having exorcist-level-meltdowns, when a Mary Poppins look-alike steps in to save the day. These kids are in the pipeline to Queen Bees, but not if the nannies put in the work.
SWK: Definitely a parenting 101 show that plays on all the tropes of too many hormones and not enough boundaries. Nanny 911 feels similar to the TLC reality TV show formula, where you dramatize someone's messed-up situation and then come in and solve it for them by the end of the hour.
BB: I guess the difference is the families on My Super Sweet 16 have extreme wealth, and the families on Nanny 911 don’t have enough money to afford a nanny. Parents need to agree to be on the show in order to get help. But the consequence is their children are living on the internet for all of time at their very worst moments.
SWK: Then there are shows that revel in their subject's worst moments and use them to add drama or spice up a season. The one-season 2010 show Pretty Wild follows the Neier sisters as their middle sibling, Alexis, stands trial for her participation in the Bling Ring robberies, hence the "scandalous. infamous" tagline of the show. It leans into the stakes of one of the cast being on trial and makes it almost seem glamorous, like hot teen baddies doing bad shit that they likely won't go to jail or serve prolonged time for.
BB: Right, producers were clearly trying to capitalize on the bad behaviour of young early 2000s celebs. And if the teens from Pretty Wild aren’t reformed of their bratty ways, they just go on to star in Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, or eventually The Valley, continuing to act badly for the rest of reality TV eternity.
SWK: So different from the Teen Mom version of teen life, where you don't throw a lavish birthday party or rob other rich people, you get pregnant and have to figure out how to raise a child. The show has spawned so many spin-offs following teen moms trying to manage a messed-up healthcare system, problematic baby daddies, and their own parents' issues. The stakes are maybe the highest they could ever be, but the show is still made for us to consume and partake.
BB: If Hilary Duff taught us anything, it’s that being "finally free to be who I wanna be" often looks like screaming at your mom because your birthday cake is the wrong shade of pink. And reality TV will be there to capture it—because no matter how chaotic or cringey it gets, there will always be viewers ready to watch.
Top 4 Tantrums: Teens… and adults
1. Audrey’s Birthday Breakdown - My Super Sweet 16, Season 5
Audrey's breakdown in a diamond tiara about getting a Lexus from her mother the day before her quinceañera, which still went ahead as planned, featuring a performance by none other than Ryan Cabrera.
"Trust me when I say I cringe watching this back," Audrey wrote on TikTok in 2023 about her infamous meltdown. Same, girl, same.
2. Stassi’s Birthday Meltdown – Vanderpump Rules, Season 4
Stassi’s “Shut the fuck up, it’s my fucking birthday” meltdown comes to mind. It’s less of a meltdown and more of a mantra, honestly. It plays in a loop in my head every year when my birthday rolls around.
3. Vicky vs. The Family Van - The Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 2
Though technically an adult, one of the OG tantrums from the Housewives franchise deserves a highlight here. This early reality TV meltdown happens when a car service dares to send Vicky Gunvulson a family van to take her and her friends to the airport. This tantrum has basically funded its own merch line at this point, and paved the way for many, many future housewives' meltdowns.
4. Stephanie's Court - My Super Sweet 16, Season 4
A medieval court-themed party that costs $300,000, with a birthday girl who tells everyone she will kill them if they mess up her entrance, wearing a dress that gives Queen Elizabeth a run for her money? From one Stephanie to another, you doth be doing a tad too much!
